So apparently some Skrull found out my password and has been posting as me for the last few days. If you've seen any posts or comments from me that seem out of character, it's because of the Skrull. I've been deleting his stuff, but if I've caused any offense, it wasn't me, it was the Skrull.

Yeah, I remember it like it was yesterday. I was the Symbiote Ranger. My Zord was the Squid Zord. Ink, symbiote, these things aren't an exact science. What sucks is that I only got called in to fight the schoolgirl kaiju. I can still see their panties ripping apart. Okinawa was coated in giant bits of plaid skirt...

Okay, Islam. You may not cause as much trouble as AIM, HYDRA, the Red Skull, the Hellfire Club, periodic government attempts to restart the Sentinels, Apocalypse, Dr. Doom, rogue elements of SHIELD, non-rogue elements of SHIELD, superhero infighting, or the Big Wheel. But when you mess with Gwen Stefani's skimpy clothes, it's clash ov the civilizations tiem nao!

I've heard a lot of mean things said about Tony Stark and I'd just like to call bullshit. That is a man that knows how to treat his suit. Ya don't see the guy climbing onto a belltower to leave it huddled and alone and cold in the dark. No, he upgrades that! I wish I could've upgraded my symbiote. But apparently you have to collect twenty of these little Pokemon things before you become "omnipotent", which really just means you grow sixty feet tall. Never a winning move, that. That just means there's more of you to hit. If Thor, Captain America, and the Human Torch try to hit you all at once when you're six feet, no way, not going to happen. Sixty feet, all them, plus the Young Avengers. Seen it happen. I think Richard Nixon did that after his involvement with the Secret Empire. And you thought he just shot himself. I voted for him, actually. Seemed like a nice dude.

Haven't actually voted recently. Me and the symbiote always agreed that our votes would cancel each other out, because I'm a Republican and he's such a black voter. Yeah, like Obama's getting nominated...

Uh-huh, apparently the Hulk's come back after one of his little siestas and now he's taken over the world or something. I don't know, I don't really follow the news as well as I should. Did Paris Hilton end up in jail? See, I'm behind on these things.

Anyway, I am so sick of this Hulk guy! You'd think we'd get along, both of us barely being in the movies that are named after us (okay, Spider-Man 3 wasn't named after me, but who do you think when you think Spider-Man x 3? That's right, baby). But I prefer anyone else, except for Parker obviously. With the Thing, if he picks up your car and throws it, you can be pretty sure that it's going to hit Galactus and that he's going to cut you a check for it. With the Hulk, he'll pick up your car and throw it at the sun because someone spoiled the latest episode of Lost for him. "Hulk smash!" Yeah right. "Hulk need anger management!" is more like it.

Man, those Scientology people take all the fun out of eating brains. All the fun.

I went to see Cletus in the asylum today. He's doing pretty well, considering the fact that Sentry ripped him in half. We still haven't found his legs. I think Namor may be hanging onto them.

He's in good spirits. The guy's taking a big cue from Professor X. Just because he doesn't exist from the waist down doesn't mean he can't have a full, active life. I mean, he's still swearing vengeance against me and Spider-Man, but he's also thinking of adopting a stray dog and maybe even not eating it this time. Stuff like that.

I short-sheeted his bed before I left.

For some reason my posts were deleted from Scans_Daily, so here's a repost of the Siren Echs Men comic.

And in this post, there actually is Logan/Scott sex!



Well, it's more like Psylocke/Logan/Scott/Rogue/Jean/Colossus/Storm/Mystique sex, but both their names are in there.

( Read more... )

I'll host the whole thing on Megaupload or something similiar if anything wants it.

You've heard of smell-a-fart acting? This must be fake-an-orgasm acting.

With both Infinite Crisis and Civil War over, fen's minds should be free of the calamity that comes with event storytelling. A time of peace should ensue in which we digest this spicy new canon. But that's not happening because this is not a time of peace. This is a time when both fandom and creators are split into two increasingly hostile camps. You can see it, feel it, and hear it all the way from Newsarama, from the Superhero Hype right over into the very heart of Scans-Daily itself.

Today we are engaged in an all-out battle between feminism and the "boys' club". And the chips are truly down. Can there be anyone that's so blind they'll say this isn't war? Anyone who doesn't realize that this is the time to take our rightful place as female comics fans? We know that the majority of fans, both in comic fandom and in the mainstream, agree with our position. We could have had the honor of being a shining, living proof that comics were not going to self-destruct. Unfortunately, we've failed to rise to the occasion.

The reason why we find ourselves impotent is not because our enemy has trolled us and called us bitches, but rather because of the treachery of some who have been treated so well by us. Now I know it is very easy for anyone to condemn a publisher or editor in general terms. Therefore, I would like to cite one case, the case of a man who has done much to shape our fandom.

Frank Miller. He birthed what many of us would call the archetypal Batman, indeed the one most recognized and written by fandom today. The Batman of Dark Knight Returns and Year One was tough but fair, formidable but not fearful, someone we could both pity and admire. And yet now, Miller writes nothing but the most misogynistic of trash. The man who gave us the very idea of the female Robin now treats us to a Wonder Woman who decries men as “sperm banks.”

This, gentle reader, gives you somewhat of a picture of the type of individuals who have been shaping our canon. In my opinion DC, which is one of the most important comic publishers, is thoroughly infested with misogynists.

One thing to remember in discussing the misogynists in our industry is that we are not dealing with bastards who deliberately want to portray women as weak and stupid. We are dealing with a far more sinister type of activity because they think their misogyny is good storytelling. Despite all the fervor and criticism towards storylines where female characters are raped, abused, killed off, or otherwise hampered just for being women; they persist in doing so because they know they’ll get a reaction every time.

As you hear this, I know that you are saying to yourself, "Well, why doesn't the industry do something about it?" Actually, gentle reader, one of the important reasons for the misogyny, the Women In The Refrigerators, the lack of a memorial for Steph, the window in Power Girl's costume, the short skirt on Supergirl -- one of the most important reasons why this continues -- is a lack of moral uprising on the part of the comic fans.

This is not hard to explain. It is the result of an emotional hangover which follows every major comic event. As the people see fan favorities die, character potential wasted, and rampant OOCness, they become numb and apathetic. However, I submit that the morals of our fandom have not been destroyed. They still exist. This cloak of cynicism has only needed a spark to rekindle them. Happily, this spark has finally been supplied.

As you know, very recently Marvel came out with a statue of Mary-Jane featuring her in the most heinously sexist position imaginable. She was for all intents and purposes barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. That is the vision of womanhood Marvel is sending to its audience, the wife of its most popular hero demonstrating what wifeliness should be. Submission and complete sexual obediance to the man in here life.

Marvel has lighted the spark which is resulting in a moral uprising and will end only when the whole sorry mess of twisted warped thinkers are swept from the comics scene so that we may have a new birth of equality and feminism in the comic book industry. And I thank them for it.